sTaTe Of ArT - WoRk OuT

The mention of two words send sparks, fear, hype and all other exclamation across the world. one - Obesity and the other HaRy. This post is not going to be about the second word as most of the blog readers would skip to the next famous post otherwise. Obesity can result in a wide range of diseases like " bending down and still not being able to see your own shoe" , " No special carriers for theme park rides" .

Now work out is the best way to shed some calories and money.There are numerous fitness centers,gyms, all over the city. And 1 out of 7 people hit the gym. But do you do it right? Where there is a will there is a way. Not sure why I put that in, for a moment I thought I was writing an inspirational post. Anyways there is a procedure for everything and so does the work out regime.

Before I explain the procedure let me introduce Saraku (booze) alias Saravanan. He belongs to the humble Adyar guys room. He works in a tube light company or otherwise WIPRO as a idle Manager. His part time activities include travelling back and forth to office, inspirational speeches to "The great walls of Adyar" and also room account maintenance. Lately he has taken up working out as the prime interest and his passion has driven him haywire. Way enough to make a video for all the fitness aspirants around the world.

I gave him an idea to publish on my blog considering the popularity I have (or rather gain). So before you watch this video, please I warn you "THE STUNTS PERFORMED IN THIS VIDEO ARE COMPILED BY EXPERT COMEDIAN" , the author is not responsible for any biceps or six pack which may result in after this terror.

Please share your comments once you have made your workout fruitful after watching this video.

Do you do it right then?

pLaYbOy

Prologue

"When 6 guys run behind a gal, it means she is one hot good looking babe

When 6 gals run behind a guy, it means wait for the last part dude!"

I know the title can immediately make most of you to scroll down and have a peek of some pics from the playboy magazine. So its either the dirty minds of the readers :) or am trying to make my blog famous! Anyways hope my blog post turns up in google when some one tries to search for Playboy.

The below is a true hallucinating story from my college days. Had a huge fan club following me in most of the Social networking sites, try searching by the name Brad Pitt. ( "I" was not mentioned in the beginning of the sentence) . Anyways as said, I used to move my hands, legs and hips otherwise called as Dance. And because all the students in my college were from MJ ( Mokai Jockey) community, no one knew to dance. So I was very popular especially among the girls. So popular that I was chased by them constantly ( for a different reason entirely).

Then came Goo-coool ( Gokul ) .The cool headed guy he was, appeared from nowhere to take the girl population by a storm. His Voice was the talk of the town. It was so loud that , people use three layers of ear buds to hear it normally. One can imagine what will happen when he shouts. Anyways it was one Fine Wednesday evening when a group of good looking gals from my college were hunting for someone. Like Chandler I said "Save your time ladies, am just here" , but then they said something harsh in Japanese, hard enough for me not to reveal it.

They convinced me to bring Gokul to them, so finally I found him eating some leftover food in the hostel. When I told him that some of the cinema heroins were hunting for him and so the next moment he disappeared.

As I went by the lobby of our class I was shocked to find him surrounded by 6 most prettiest girls,( some of them read my blog .. so prevention) from my department .See the picture above. Immediately I realised my chemistry class lecture , something about boiling point, I felt it right in my stomach! I realised that there was a new Playboy in the college and I was dethroned! So I took a stroll out to regain my composure and came back to see what else was happening when I saw this.

Amen after that.

Moral & End notes : I was still the playboy . Later part of my story will not be revealed for security purpose. Please read the disclaimer if you are wondering where the truth is, in the above post! cyu fellas!

ChEmIsTrY.....!

Prologue : H2SO4 + me = Blabber

When we talk about chemistry, a lot of things zooms across, like hints development ( though i really did not understand that term until I failed in English-2) .

I tried to give a complex definition of Chemistry like Aamir does in 3 Idiots, but I didn't quite have a good dialogue writer, so let me stick to my basic nonsense. So let me relate an incident which happened in school days. Days I mean, when I did not bunk school - Sorry fellas it was to my bro who will disagree.

Chemistry is a tiny little alcoholic benzene subject, but fellas it's also something that works between a stupid boy and a very studious girl. Why... Let me explain,

My Chemistry teacher was Charles Durai, he was more of a Charles Durrr.. Because of the durr he produced. Anyway it was in my Tenth std when Chemistry labs were introduced. I was the class representative because of the leadership qualities exhibited by me (giving proxies to friends, games periods, and beatings from class teacher on behalf of other classmates..etc .. accolades). And Penelope had the same straits so she was the girls representative and assistant to me.

The whole class (bribed by me) thought we had a pleasant chemistry between us. Note : The title of this post is Chemistry, so you'll find chemistry tons of time between. We had beautiful times, called as the Golden Era . The Golden Era will be a separate post, so watch for it. In order to impress her I would do weird stuff, now even Blogs are one of them.

Because Penny was very sweet she offered here record notes and other stuff to carry me, obviously she shud be crazy abt me as well. Quite a couple of sessions later in our chemistry labs, I was still not able to find in which test tube Alcohol is placed. As I figured Methanol and Ethanol were there, Alcohol should be some where around. Being the perfect scenario one day, Penny was all dressed up like an output for a high volume reaction, like Magnesium burning in dry ice ( To prove I really studied my chemistry book).

So somehow I seated myself near her, with an attempt to make the chemistry work in the chemistry class taught by the chemistry professor. As our Professor began his lullaby, I heard Ilayaraja music in my ears. She took the test tube from me and started the experiment. It was a team experiment and I had shooed away the rest, in order to make the chemistry works b/w us. Sweet as she is, noticed me not listening to the class and moved away from me. I reckon Shyness perhaps.

As we started our experiment she asked so many things to me “pass me dil.hcl, Co2, Dil.H2So4..Blah blah blah..." , I hardly listened as I was reaching my melting point. One point, then she yelled “CONCENTRATE", startled I poured the Conc.H2So4 in the half mixed liquid and POP... BLAST...I do not even want to share how I looked. Whatever was is in that, did not like the sulphur. I could see she had reached the boiling point now. RIP HaRy ..!

Note: If there are grammar and any other English mistakes, do not forgive me as I learned it from you guys! :) And as my disclaimer says, the above is fiction... so pls refrain from imagination.

LiTtLe MaStEr....SuNdArAm!

Sundaram is a classic all rounder in Cricket . For those who don't know about Sundar, please read my previous posts on him Sundaram Star , sure you'll double with laughter. His interest in cricket developed early during the days when Sachin Tendulkar was his guru. He started following Sachin in every aspect, so much that he decided only to marry a girl older than him.So he has various Aunty thrashing experiences.He got obsessed with cricket gradually and even thought of playing professional cricket. Sadly they do not play with plastic balls and Sundar was dejected.

Of late he realised its easy to enter the world of cricket thru IPL, where so many players shot to limelight, so he wore his cricket shoes again with an aim to capture the dream. We all set out to help Sundar and his awesome dream. We even spoke with Shilpa Shetty who was amazed at Sundar's extra mile effort and was willing to provide opportunity, I mean for cricket.Slowly the whole of Adyar started speaking about Sundaram and his dream. The neighbourhood Aunty would even give Sundaram free boost everyday morning to keep up his energy level.Wherever we went, we were showered with love and encouraging words from people for Sundaram, even the opposite house thatha , whose lovely grand daughter(oops i leaked unnecessary info) , ok even he started to support us.

After weeks of eating Bheema kushti legyam ( a very energized chyawanprash kinda ...err stuff) , and we even flicked the Adidas shoes from our neighbours to boost his morale, though one shoe was 8 size and the other 7, those obstacles would not stand in the way of a determined Sundaram. He started hearing the song "I believe I can fly" , and " Aashiq Banaya Apne" song like a dozen times every day. To practice batting we gave him the job of killing all the mosquitos in our house with the mosquito bat. Amazingly he used to kill 50 mosquito's at one shot!

Finally the D-Day of TEST arrived and we the busy people from Software giants(sitting in bench) took a day off to witness the remarkable entry of Sundar into cricket stardom. As he entered with his willow,there were shouts and chants. He stepped up with astonishing confidence just like Ilayathalapathy vijay! The Bowler appeared to be in gripping fear and the atmosphere was mokaistic (dumbstic if there is a word) . The picture below depicts the Sundar before and Sundar after. Rest is just history.

note : I do not have hatred towards cricket nor Sundaram, his extra super powers amaze me to the core and he is my best friend :)

My NaMe Is WaLa...

OK so now I went missing, so whats the big deal, we all go missing now and then. When I was a kid I used to play missing with my Dad in the exhibition, mall and scare the hell out of him, until I realised its not easy to find him either. Well any ways the post has nothing to do with me missing, its an Autobiography... I suck at writing autobiographies, so I took the expert advice. I'll tell you later who.

My Name is.... , that doesn't matter much cause none of you and the society know me by my name even if were to give one. I am considered a terror in the society and have been ridiculed by so many. Yet that gives me the strength.

I can drive around the streets thru tiny gaps where only cycle can pass thru , thereby I am the co-founder of the phrase "Cycle gap la auto ootran paru da" (driving an auto in the cycle gap)

I can charge the customer as much as a trip to the moon, even though the distance would be like from a hallway to the bathroom in a one-bed room flat.

I never do care about the vehicle really and have the privilege to abandon it, as most of them which I drive belong to the owners.

I consider the person sitting in the middle to be safe and I have pictures of Hindu,Muslim and Christianity for the passengers to pray for a safe journey.

I don't provide seat belts, so up to you to hold onto something.

I can drive the 200cc vehicle assuming to be a 5000cc Lamborghini.

I still have Rajinikanth's photo on my vehicle, so I can create publicity.

I stop when a girl waves her hand to stop and stick my tongue out when a guy waves.

My Vehicle is supposed to carry 3 persons, although I can take more than that ( If you know what i mean ahem ahem)

I consider the person sitting in the middle to be safe and I have pictures of Hindu,Muslim and Christianity for the passengers to pray for a safe journey.

I belong to an Union, as strong as the central Government.

Along with learning to drive, I learnt to abuse and fight so that skills are quite handy at many a time.

I have a fuming stove connected secretly beneath my meter.

You might be able to convince your girlfriend , but not me am more expensive than her shopping kitty.

Well me and my vehicle are always the first Victim of any strike, bundh .

I can take 15 people inside my tuk tuk.

Now all above experiences and facts are based on the blogger's fictional truth, any information detailed might be because the blogger loves the autorickshaws and yes as always please read my disclaimer.Cyu all soon :D

sNoW BeTrAyAl

Hey Everyone....am not gonna try to slice your ears again, this post is just to show how lovely my friends are :) , I have planned a tit for tat on everyone and I shall post it soon on what consequences they went thru!

It snowed heavily here and we set out to play in the Snow and I never realised everybody were soo much affectionate on me, so affectionate that instead of showering with blessings and free stuff they pelted their kindness with Snowballs, and me the very steady boy could not do anything but escape from the scene! I had a very gud pair of shoes which are never slippery and i could skate on the ice, but the video says otherwise!

The Video is self explanatory about what happened to me, I'll not say any more than this...

click to view--> on youtube

Magesh (The guy finally who showers his friendship on me) , if you are reading this .... Long Live yourself...) Thanks to Naga, Raja,Saravanan and Rajesh for the teamwork !

Happy Pongal everyone! Keep smiling...eeeeeeeee

mE tHe BaBy HeRo & ThAnK YoU

Hey fellas, Unlikely of me to update my blog apart from a Friday, yet am tempted to post this. A Big thanks to all my Blog readers (especially my mokai inspiration Chriz Bro), who had the patience to read my posts all these days, somehow I caught the attention of Webneetech and they have featured my so called Interview CLICK HERE. As I mentioned earlier in one of my posts...am pretty bad at Interviews, but somehow I came up with much decent answers. Thanks to Anamika from Webneetech!

Luv yu all...thanks and keep lol'ing whist yu are here!

As mentioned in my previous post I have plenty of superpowers and one of them being my Memory, My memory is so blank that I can recall what happened when I was a 8 Month old baby.Just a small snapshot of myself :D

To become HaRy you need to be HaRy....and for that its little difficult for you all, as I began to read a lot ,even from my tender age...of 8 months. My flair for reading was soooo very impressive that I used to read every book near me For all Jealous babies out there, look at me reading(pic) , I know what all you kids would have done...Pulling strands of hair off your sister, wail right in your mom's ear, hold your bro's nose until they yell in pain,wetting bed (Chriz till date) but yes, am unique :) .

This photograph was taken when my neighbour Aunty brought her 6 month old baby girl to my home, So I realised girls fall for boys with high reading skills and I tried pretending to read the book and show off, until she crawled near me and turned my book, as I was holding it upside down. Nevertheless she was amazed at my Topsy turvy skills. Now am sure if my neighbourhood gal would not remember this as she does not hold super powers like me.

This picture is me...Yes It was supposed to be appearing for the Dabur Chyawanprash ad for intellectual babies.

MiNd ReAdEr !!

Last couple of days I came to know one of my biggest gifts - Mind Reading . What is mind reading...hmmm "Its The illusion of telepathy in the performing art of Mentalism" The word Mentalism always echo's behind me as I have been referred with that quite a couple of times. Mind reading is very easy you know, let me quote some instances where i realised i have this impeccable talent.

This is the best
The Interviewer asked me "Who is Hari" , for which I said " Hari is the other name of Lord Vishnu, alias Krishna and he is one of the top 3 God's and he has taken 10 Avatar's....blah blah blah" He said "Stop, All I asked was to know about you." I am pretty sure he must have thought " What creativity" , funny my name did not appear in the selected candidate list.

When I finish eating to my full stomach and burp and exclaim to my friend that I forgot to bring my purse, then I know he thinks "Yu no good dumb "@#$" .

When then lovely babe who stays in my opposite flat comes out early morning and i stop brushing and gape at her, from her smile i know she thinks " wow, finally he brushed " , whereas in the ground floor her Dad's glare I know he thinks " wtf "

I can also read minds thru telephone and emails, like

When I send a formal email after trying every word with Thesaurus, I get a nasty reply back from which I can determine the mailer be thinking as" why? am not a gal, don't try to impress me"

When some one explains for almost 5 whole minutes and i say "Pardon me, please repeat" ,one deep sigh from the caller says "Moron..." that am sure I can make out the telepathy.

I can easily tell that half the readers of the blog are wondering what this blogger's intention is, to make comedy or tragedy, So if this post does not make much sense, carry on with your work...of course after throwing an Egg or Tomato comments @ me.. :D

Bear with me for my lazy posts and comments...extreme busy yu know, yet i don't wanna miss you guys!
Happy Weekend everyone :)

BuLlYiNg ThE jUnIoR

This Post surely is not abt ragging and so I ask you all to please refrain from blowing my cover to Interpol. Just a small experience , bunch of friends who show casted their heroics to get dumbness in the return, includes me in the gang.

We have this Open house exhibition annually in college and its the time where most of the students come out with brilliant projects and more studious students like me, keep trotting from project to project and ask questions of no relevance.So we the four of us (Bharath,Hari Venky,Karthi and Me) all in second year of college thought "Damn with the projects" and so set out to proj - hopping asking logical & Dumb questions in all the technical projects and yeah to check out new gals in the neighbourhood. And before all of you assume nasty things about us, we all are put up in decent organizations like Wipro(not a soap company) ,HCL(not just computers they manufacture) , Mindtree( not the restaurant) and also another Entrepreneur(yippee i spelt it right).

After much teasing and questioning around we reached first year block of Information & Technology department where we happened to see all funny projects like Flash games and basic Inventory projects, tsk tsk..so very easy.Also its a known fact that IT dept is called as Figures(babe's) department as for our department(ECE) its full of Zombie's .

So we went along questioning only projects which bore good looking gals, there was one particular stand where it had two gals(of course good looking) with one guy blah blah 'ing to them, Bharath being the Nice guy his stomach started to burn at the sight of 2:1 ratio that too in First year Block, so pulled all our temper and set to that stand.

Following was the conversation

Bharath : " Hiya , Explain this piece for me" One gal starts blah blah blah abt the project while the guy is still engrossed in a deep kadalai (Tamil slang for nonsense/sense talk between girl and boy).

Karthi : " Whoa, stop! who did this Project"

Gal 1 : " We "

Karthi : " Then why are your mates not here explaining along with yu"

Gal 1 : " Yeah they can, ... but... he"

Me (Interuppting) : " No buts, dai(calling him) and you(to the other girl) come here both"
The guy looks bewildered

Me :" You, come here...are you mad? Nonsense fellow come here, is this dumb project yours?, or are yu working on some project with that gal"

His face boils instead of fear and the gal started to blutter in fear and embarrassment.

H.Venky : " (Pointing at me) Sir kupidarangila(calling you) right? come on in here and talk"

Suddenly in rage the guy sat(obviously he felt insulted in front of the gals), stands up and we realise he was not as short as we thought and instead he is more 6"2 .

Kadalai Guy : " Who are you guys? what do you want... Do you know who I am?"

H.Venky : (With little fear inside) " How dare you speak loud, you dumb first year kadalai party"

Kadalai Guy :" Idiots, am from Final Year Information Technology! Come outside you morons, ll call my pals to show you the treatment"With this he came close, with only exception not holding my shirt collar

Now I recall the images of this guy in Final Year Hostel in the mess with his dhoti and Food Plate! Damn! We all stared at each other blinking and Hari Venki froze in fear the most.

Now Bharath has immense Presence of Mind, he said : " What? we are from PSG college of Engineering, we came here to review all the projects, is this how you guys explain? Lead me to your HOD or Princie"

Kadalai Guy : ( Brief thought) " Ok am busy, of you go" , with this he escaped the scene...

Phew ..big sigh and a great escape, after that we saw him quite often and thankfully either his memory was bleak or he didn't want to show his embarrassment, so he didn't quite bully us.

PoLiCe StOrY...

Sunday morning and as usual we had booked a ticket in Sathyam Cinemas so Gokul and me were off for it. We started for the movie Veerasamy, but unfortunately T Rajendar movies had so much graphics and was taken in iMax cameras and 3D that Sathyam's theatre was not compatible and was not put up there. So we had to console ourself with another tormentor in Tamil cinema - Ilaya Mokaipathy Vijay. As Mr.Gokul had crashed my heavy duty bike to a lamp post previous night ( thinking it was a beautiful damsel and trying to impress her) , We had to steal my friend Cyril's bike key whilst he was snoring.

As we set out on the busy Mount Road , we both were excellent bikers and so just to prove to Gokul am better of him i went racing thru all the bends GP style until i realised i had zoomed past the red light, and did'nt realise chennai cops were so quick to react...a mama (cop) who was having his coconut in the shade jumped onto the road spreading his hands and started jumping left and right( it was so much of a funny sight) to stop us. So I had to pull over and immediately he took the keys. Following is the conversation...

Cop : Did you see the signal?

Me : Yes anna(bro)...(shit i shud hav called him mama at least)

Cop : Anna? are yu mad? why did yu ride past the signal?

Me : Sorry, Sir... ( i got sweaty) As i am suffering from fever, please could you....

Cop : Stupid! Am i your class teacher? Padichavan thane nee?( Are'nt you guys educated? )

Gokul : Sir, yes we got the Driving License education and only then got the license. ( apparently intelligent Gokul thought if the cop's asking abt the License exam)

Cop and Me stare at Gokul...

Cop : Idiot, am asking if you are literate enough to study the traffic signs!! Anyways do you have the papers?

We both in chorus(pointing each other) : He has ! and then we look dumbfounded as we forgot to get it from Cyril..

Cop : Well now that adds up the crime, pay up and leave..( in his hand he shows 2..meaning 200 bucks)

Gokul : Sir, i have seen the rules in the internet, we have to pay up a fine of only 400 for this innocent offence.

Cop : So , yu guys know the rules eh? fine then pay up 1000rs and then as today is Sunday no mobile court, collect your vehicle tomorrow..thats for talking rules to me!

Me to Gokul : " Great you Moron...see what you have done now..." , After much pleading, the cop would'nt agree and we had to pay the fine...which we did not have so we called up the bike owner Cyril to come over.... he obviously was fuming and came in another bike and brilliantly without a helmet.. Now as we gave the money to the Cop

Cop to Cyril : Well, Well..where is your helmet..?

We all stare at each other....

Cop : Pay up all the fine and leave before i dig out your criminal records...

We had to pay up finally 1500rs of fine as we sped the signal, no papers and no helmet!!! Lousy day indeed!!

tOoTh fAiRy

I remember the day when I was off to the dentist to get my tooth pulled out....waz bcos hav been eating too many chocolates lately and a deep cavity quickly developed. So it appeared my tooth cannot be rescued.

Well, I was very surprised to see two lovely ladies in the clinic, which is usually run by an old doc, apparently they were getting knowledge transfer it seems, lucky for me! So the clinic being very professional, I had to register to the beautiful receptionist gal sat in the front, by giving her the details of my tooth problem. so as usual I started to blah blah with her... and she matched my frequency very much I guess, so after some time of rubbish talk, I sat, awaiting to be called upon. There was an Old woman as well nearby who was trying to register amidst our talk, not sure if she did in the end.

I was thanking my lucky stars when I came to know that even the dentist who had to work on me was a gal as well, she was equally pretty and very much co-operative :) and we started the kadalai ( blah blah between a gal and a boy in tamil) ! .

So the pre-tooth plucking activity was quite simple and i had soooo much time to get to know her and came to know she was from the neighbourhood. I started dreaming ...and I think even she was very much attracted to me as she was leaning over me with much interest and appeared to be fascinated (ever since this click here event i have started brushing thrice a day :) ).

She beamed at my mouth with her eyes and I thought she saw the entire universe in my mouth like Lord Krishna when he opened his mouth to his mom.I noticed that the old woman was in the same room with another Dentist.

As she started to clean my teeth, i had a loud ARGHHHHHHH nearby, apparently i figured the old woman had a hostile nurse, But then she started yelling " My..pheeeet...O MY Pheeeet" , Me and my dentist both started looking at her feet, thinking if something fell on her, and yeah she awfully has a small feet...5? we both nodded understandingly(is there a word as such?) .

She started to shout at the top of her voice "aw ..eww...owww" , i thought she left two more vowels :)! The she moaned that she had come for cleaning her teeth!! There was complete staring for a min, then we all realised what happened!

The Head Dentist came in and started yelling at receptionist gal and both these newbiez .The old woman was cursing to lose her only left behind tooth(which was with cavity any way) I just sat quietly.

Finally all tensions ceased, i got my tooth pulled out and went over to the receptionist gal to err.. ahem! ahem :) ! But i got the dirtiest glare ever! Wonder wat she meant by that.

P.S: - Please always read the disclaimer of MY blog... :)

sTuPid...wHo?

Final year placement in college is always an important phase of every one's life and as always there used to be 3 standard rounds 1. Written test, 2. Group Discussion and 3. Interview.

It was just another Off campus Placement for the company Polaris and I somehow after mugging up all the question paper Dumps, dumped them and cleared the first round. The second being the Group Discussion which I fancied I was very good at, bcos of my usual blah blah blah stuff .There were 7 of them around and each one looked to pounce on the topic, as we were given the impression that whoever initiates the discussion,are bound to get credit points .



Then came the moderator and announced the topic . The topic was - "Stupid" , I like all around me got totally bewildered...and none started the discussion. When one guy who looked more relevant with the topic (he was the only one clad in t shirt and jean with a half beard) after a big Phew he started -


" Well, it just another day when Sachin was totally useful with his forehand and Bill gates roared with laughter at Steve Jobs Monopoly,down came the chicken which crossed the road getting hit by an unarmed terrorist, Rajnikant and his bus conductor attitude giving Spielberg a run for his money. Also not to forget the ever homely acting of Paris Hilton in our Bollywood movies, Karunanidhi and Jayalalitha's new Party takes India by storm and...blah blah blah he went for more than 2 full minutes" finally he stopped to all our gaping mouth astonishment.


I was thinking, what the hell? has he gone mad???. Then he said " Well, now that's what I call it as stupidity and guess i make one of them! " Holy Cow!! he made us sit like morons in the end! Obviously he was selected for the next round, that's Presence of Mind for yu.

But P.S : I came to know that he was put up in the bench for last one year :) ..that's one a different note!!