Thursday, May 29, 2014

Infosys to be baptized as Outfosys:

Infosys to be baptized as Outfosys:

Ok, am much inspired by this fakingpost website and think that if at all one day my company were to sack me, i might find some job there... trying some dumb humor around. So where was I... yeah, to start with a satirical post on the current trends :)

                India’s biggest Software Company Infosys is looking to get back at its profitable ways by adopting astrology and current market trends as its strategy. After quite a number of Brainstorming sessions with the middle level management (as most of the top level management have left, excluding Narayana Murthy and his Gurkha), a collective conclusion was made to consult the astrologers for regaining its momentum. And the unanimous decision was to get Baba Ramdev’s piece of advice, who in turn suggested a change in the name of the company.

                Statistically speaking, this is the tenth top level exit from the company since Narayana Murthy staged a comeback from his retirement. Sources reveal that Narayana Murthy was the Michael Schumacher of Software, as ever since his comeback, things have only slowed down. There was pretty much no difference apart from that, Schumacher used Mercedes whilst Murthy used vintage ambassador.

                The other bothering fact which ridicules the shareholders is the amount of Political influence on its top management with already two of the bosses(Nandan Nilekani and V Balakrishna) participating in 2014 elections. As leaders of innovation, the talk is about secret projects that were commissioned during the Lok Sabha elections to surge the electoral campaigning which resulted in more idle time for the contracted US projects.

To be CEO; BG Srinivas’s resignation means that the company will have to continue on the dry run of a topless Company without a CEO at the helm. Though trade analysts are penning at the fact that it’s an inside strategy from Infosys to save the bulk compensation paid to the CEO, this is sending mixed responses to the company’s security guards, who now do not know who to salute. Without a proper union or a forum to address this issue at hand, the junior programmers are now trying to hack their way into becoming the CEO, as the designation is left empty without a resource to align.

Come June1, the company’s transition will start with a new name “OUTFOSYS” a strategy developed by Business electromagnets to reorganize the company’s current fiasco. The company will be holding a press conference for its entrusted shareholders and the stocks are expected to double and perform bullishly on June1. Hopefully they are aware that June1 is Sunday and share market is closed.

-Unofficial Press Statement ( Makes it official?)