Monday, May 31, 2010

oF CaLoRiEs & WeIgHt...!

Two of my favourite bloggers - Neha and Bindu(better known as Insignia - , Neha has already written a guest post in my blog and now its Insignia's turn :)! so she whirled around with quite a post which I always used to have nightmares of.... Thanks Bindu... exactly the post I was planning to write...:)!

How many of you have been elated reading your weight and satisfied with your kgs? Raise your hands....No cheating!! Be honest.

Not many eh? Is it not each one's secret desire to lose weight? I guess the most hated machinery in this world would be the poor little weighing machine.It is a technological marvel. Why not? That poor little machine can earn the wrath of so many people, it could witness jubilation or it could get cursed. Now which other machine has this privilege?

Almost everyone has that intense desire to shed some flab, lose weight. What with the fashion world claiming size zero is the in-thing!! But there's a slim chance, or should I say a FAT chance that most of us would reach the desire body weight!! But hey!! what is the harm in trying?

Talking about the emotions that arises, you could see all types and forms of expressions. There's some qualm always before stepping onto the weighing machine. Nervous, you close your eyes with hope and silently pray that the needle points to the number you want it to. And then you reluctantly look down to read the scale, first there is denial!! How can it be!! Then despair, anger and frustration. And abuses and curses to the weighing machine first.

You question its precision and genuineness and then realization pours in. You then start cursing the devil in you which taunted you to gorge on those cheesy snacks and those chocolate cakes. All the while, the poor weighing machine earnestly looks for some appreciation for being honest. But what it gets is a stare!!

And most times, we believe that the machine is not right, so we tend to calibrate it manually by slightly adjusting ourselves until the needle reads to what we desire. And very rare is the jubilation and excitement of having achieved what we wanted. Oh yeah!! its short lived though. Weight is like a boomerang, it always comes back to you!!

Sometimes the machine adds few kilos as a compliment and sometimes it gives you discount. Discount is what is preferred here. I recently came across a joke where the lady in question removes everything from her shoes until she is almost nude to get her weight right. You see; the shoes, the dress are all 'accessories' which hinders you from getting your correct reading.

Few of my friends step onto the weighing machine and protect the secret magic number so much so that you feel that the number is a secret code to an enormous amount of wealth. Few people believe that weight changes with season, so they tend to weigh themselves in their favorable season. Few others believe counting your calorie intake might keep check on your weight. Fine!! but is it only yours or others as well, even if they didn't want to?

This is what happened at a recent birthday celebration of two of my team members. One of them had lost 26 kilos by hook or by crook. There were cakes cut and this man instead of gorging on his cake, kept commenting about how much calorie would that piece of cake have. It was really disturbing, couldn't gorge on those cakes. It was short lived, as we later ignored and treated ourselves.......

None giving a thought about the weights or the calories :-) 

 PS : Thank you for reading everyone. A few comments on this post made me realize that people are thinking Hary wrote this; but I am the author of this post. Its a guest post by me - Insignia :-)

Wednesday, May 26, 2010

Do Or DiE...55 FiCtIoN

My attempt on 55 fiction continues, wonder if I fail or just a cheeky pass as in my semesters, yet here you go fellas...

Afternoon it was, My God!

The longer he controlled himself, the more he suffered

He sweated profusely as he felt a pit down his stomach

It was no Do or Die, only Die

So finally, he eased himself for a better collapse

The eerie silence @ work haunting him

"Drrrrrrrr Burrrrrrrr" , out came the Fart !

Based on a true fictional incident, as and when related to me by one of my friend Sai ( Am yet to write an post on this comedian)... I pity his colleagues.

Saturday, May 22, 2010

SeReNaDe sPiRiT - 77 FiCtIoN

All you funny people, I bring to you Neha ( yes Nehatrix and Nehasilam... she is the one! I always think of her as a Blog factory as she keeps sending in new blogposts at regular intervals, and God knows how many more this Mumbai marathon can write..., wish her my best! This is the first guest post in my blog ..Thanks Neha :D ,Enjoy fellas!

"She had always heard about Ghosts staying in Serenade Mansion, but her heart believed Alex more than anybody else. After all, it belonged to Alex, whom she was to marry next month on 14th February, 1995.

On their wedding night, Lisa stepped in Serenade with Alex for the first time. The mansion was abnormally quiet and dark. Slightly scared, she looked at Alex. But all she could see was a portrait that said:

Alex Francis (1965-1990) "

Tuesday, May 18, 2010


The language English evolved during the earlier days of humanity. To this day it remains the official spoken language of the world. English as my Thala Rajinikath says "I can walk English,I can talk English..." and so it has been bent to the necessity. Leave alone the accents and Colloquial style of it there are other clowns in the world who have formatted it in a vivid way. Some of them

T. Rajendar ( Terror Romeo Rajendar)

Half of my non-Tamil speaking friends, please forgive me to introduce him. He is a Romeo of all sorts and truly the heart throb of the girls.His aduku mozhi ( so called rhythmic pattern) is a very common disease in Tamil Nadu and one of the reasons why all this Punch dialogues evolved. Just look at the video and you will understand why, enough blogs have been written about him , so I'd rather refrain from boring you guys.

Sundaram ( from the post - My Amigos) English

My Dear most friend of all time, his English has evolved and sent tremors up to New England. The important aspect in his English is his word replacement. When you pose a question and if he doesn't know the answer his Emergency hormone comes to the rescue. So he comes up with the alternate answer. In the Electronics class during college he was asked " What is UPS" and he bluntly answered "Unexpected Power Supply" . That is totally unexpected. He loves watching English movies because of ENGLISH and not English kiss its one of the ways to make himself perfect(in speaking I mean).

I have given him advice many a time, that is because I have written so many blogs and not one of you have complained my grammar and English and blah blah blah...! The last movie he saw was "Englishkaaran ", I found out it was a Tamil movie :( ! He has many fans from my blog and please check the links to laugh more about him

Jeppiar English

Jeppiar English is a very widely known concept in Tamil Nadu. There were too many forwarded emails , but nobody knows the origin. It came from the great Jeppiar himself. If you don't believe me try to search Jeppiar in google and you'll know. He is a very powerful man in Chennai. He was also the source for the famous line in Chennai28 movie " Thambi, did you choose Bowling or Fielding" after spinning the toss on the field.

Some excerpts ,which most of you know, yet always a pleasure to let it be written.

“No ragging this college. anybody rag we arrest the police”

One of his famous sayings “girl girl talk,boy boy talk, but no boy girl talk”.

You, meet me behind the class. (meaning AFTER the class .. )

Both of u three, get out of the class.

You, rotate the ground four times…

All of you, stand in a straight circle.

There is no wind in the balloon.

And the most famous dialogue of all time - "I talk, he talk, why you middle middle talk?" .

HaRy English

Now finally this is the art of perfecting ( there is a word right?) . So those who have a flair for English, suggest you to follow my blog closely , because it has numerous ways of how not to write. So based on which you can write correctly.

Tuesday, May 11, 2010


@ 1, I woke up the owls , crying through the night.

@ 3, I would swallow everything around me except food.

@ 7, I would not leave to school giving the easiest reason available - dysentery

@10, I had grades in the shapes of a coin and pencil.

@14, I never listened to anyone, except Rajinikanth.

@17, I passed out of school as FIRST from last.

@19, I had abundance of letters sent - from my college to home to take critical action on me.

@21, I had a job - Spend my Dad's savings.

@24, I managed to get salary ,thanks to an IT company, but spent all by myself

@25, I call home once in a week quoting "work pressure"

All this and still she stood by me. And I assume its the same with all of you out there.Couple of days late, but yet every day is " Mothers day"
-----------------Priceless gift this pic-----------------------------------
This picture is a click from one my friend Sai... who's trying to be a PRO by copying my pictures, so please assume yourself who the picture belongs to